


Who Stared Into The Abyss

by Wallwalker



Series: HSO Bonus Round-Up [15]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mermaid, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Dubious Consent, F/M, Psychological Horror, Urban Fantasy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-15
Updated: 2012-06-15
Packaged: 2017-11-07 19:54:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/434767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wallwalker/pseuds/Wallwalker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He probably thinks that you've gone mad. Maybe you have! But he's the one who led you down that way, so he only has himself to blame.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who Stared Into The Abyss

**Author's Note:**

> Mermaidstuck fic (is that a thing?) with hints of urban fantasy and cosmic horror. Written for Bonus Round 1 (Psychological Horror + Urban Fantasy for blackrom Eri/Fef.) Anything that involves having more of this 'ship on AO3 is okay by me.

You wonder if Eridan realizes just how _easy_ those ridiculous clothes make him to follow. Does he _want_ you to find him? No - that's a silly question. Of course he does!

He spends his time downtown, patronizing dying shops and engaging their keepers in self-righteous banter. He blends in perfectly with the artists of this district, except that you know him. Eridan never created anything in his _life._ It was always the other side of the coin for him, destroy and destroy til there's nothing left. But who knows, when you think about it - maybe there's art in that.

He thinks that he's _safe_ from you here, can you believe it? Merfolk can't hide themselves from you that easily! You know him even under all of those ridiculous layers of clothing. It's the way he walks like he's not sure why the ground hasn't swallowed him up like the sea, and the smell of salt and darkness that rolls off of his skin like sweat. You walk behind him and watch as he saunters away, shoulders proud and head held high, a man without a care in the world.

_Liar._

\---

You are ready to leave this district behind, you think. Not just for the day, either - permanently. The bohemian spark that once drew you to it is starting to become tainted by the rest of the world, the cruel necessities of staying in business.

You are tired, tired to your very soul, of living like this. Of standing on solid ground and crawling at the bottom of an ocean of air, instead of swimming freely through the vast seas. You hate these people - all of them, whatever color or shape or race, however many eyes they look upon you with - because they have never _known_ anything but crawling, because they don't understand how you can wish for anything better. Maybe you should research a way to sprout wings, you think; that might make it more bearable.

It won't work, of course. You've tried it before. 

The frustration is playing hell on your senses; every twitch in your peripheral vision makes you want to break into a run, and every sound that you can't identify nearly evokes a scream of terror. You hide your fears from these people behind a shield of bravado and pride; it's gotten you into more than a few fights, and you don't always win. You've been beaten up, kicked around and robbed more times than you want to count.

Your old friends would ask you why you want to stay. But being beaten up by these simpletons is nothing, compared to the thought of dealing with _her._

\---

You stand by the side of the street, a waif in nondescript and slightly tattered clothing, and you do not look at Eridan as he climbs the stairs to his cheap apartment. He shares a building with a menagerie of surface-dwellers, from nondescript humans to more exotic travelers from other lands, and you wonder how he'd learned to live with them in such close quarters. The heat from their skin must make him sick - you can feel it, even from there. All of that warm blood, their hearts pumping and pumping just to keep their bodies from freezing... how can they stand it? Or do they not notice anymore?

He believed that he could outrun you, that hiding in this slum would throw you off of his trail. Or did he think you were too proud to leave the ocean to chase him here? What a ridiculous idea! It doesn't matter where he goes or what he does to make himself disgusting to you. He's _yours,_ and you will take him and swallow him whole, disgust and horror and all, and if it poisons you then you'll eat the poison and make it a part of you.

He probably thinks that you've gone mad. Maybe you have! But he's the one who led you down that way, so he only has himself to blame.

\---

You never feel safe anymore unless the doors are locked, the vents are closed, and the spaces below the doors are plugged up tight. It's hell in the winter; you survive huddled next to the fae-fire with a cup of hot tea in your hands, just to keep yourself from falling into a long sleep. The summers, though, are almost perfect; it's hot and damp and feels almost as if you were swimming. It's the closest thing to being home you've felt since coming here.

Your life's been an endless stream of horrors and pain. It's difficult for you not to wallow in self-pity about the whole thing sometimes. All you ever wanted was to bring the merfolk glory, to flood the land and claim it for your own. No one understood your vision, though. No one. Not even Feferi - your friend and your beloved, the one you were trying to build up to be a proper queen of the seas. No one.

All you wanted to do was show Fef what power really was. Was that really so wrong? You only wanted to make her stronger, but instead.... You shudder at the thought. No. Best not to think about it. Every time you think about the reason you fled to ground, it feels like she's there, behind you. Standing over your shoulder, ready to - 

You turn and glance behind you.

Nothing. Of course. She won't follow you here, not to this terrible place. Not when she has her undersea paradise to rule.

\---

So paranoid! He never could learn to relax, though, could he?

You watch as every light in his apartment that you can see comes on, then goes off again. Searching, no doubt, for you, or anyone you've sent, or anything you've left behind. Not that you actually would - you'd rather watch him wear himself out being afraid. 

Still, he's been spending far too much time up here, and he's shirked an awful lot of duties that you've had to force kinder and less traitorous mermen to do. He needs to remember whose subject he is. He needs to be reminded that despite everything else he was, he's _yours,_ and he always will be.

Magical flight is nothing like swimming. Swimming is as natural as breathing to such as you, and this magical flight that you've learned is nothing more than forcing your mind to lift your body from the ground, and it's _exhausting!_ Still, it's pretty useful for stuff like this - getting into places up high without being seen, that sort of thing. You drift up into the air, looking for your chance. And there it is - a tiny crack in a window that he hasn't noticed. It's not much, but it's _juuuust_ enough, and you drip through like liquid, one tiny drop at a time.

You didn't _want_ this, and you told him so! You didn't want to destroy anything, even if it might've meant more for you in the end. You wanted to build, you wanted to make your paradise under the sea into something more beautiful than other civilization has ever been, and what good would these broken cities do for you there? You'd just end up having to destroy everything they've ever done, and that would be horrible! 

He disagreed. He wheedled, begged, even demanded, as if he could demand that you do anything. And in the end, he begged long enough that you agreed to what he wanted, just to make him _stop._ Maybe, if you could look into the eyes of the power he _really_ wanted for long enough and still tell him no, then he'd actually listen.

Oh, you were right. You were more right than you'd ever dreamed.

You finish seeping your way into his stronghold (ha!) and make yourself comfortable. You'll wait for him to find you. You're in no hurry.

\---

It's a quiet night, at least. You don't have much to do, other than listen to the sounds of the people in the apartment next door and think. You have to work tomorrow - you never had to work like this under the sea - and you have to buy food after you're done. You're just finishing up dinner, which means it's the last thing that you had. What kind of a life is this, anyway? Honestly. This plan would have been doing all of the surface dwellers a favor. Their lives are so meaningless and insignificant that ending them would've been a blessing.

Maybe you'll just turn in early. Your dreams are more interesting than any entertainments that this world has to offer.

You walk into your bedroom and turn to hit the light - 

" _Hello,_ Eridan," a cheery voice says from your bed. "It's been a long time, hasn't it?"

You freeze. Your mind races for a moment - _Oh no oh cod how did she find me?_ \- and you force it down and make yourself speak. "Not nearly long enough, princess," you say, and it's almost perfect until your voice cracks as you say her title.

You will not turn to look at her, you tell yourself. You will not scream.

"Oh," she says, sounding mildly disappointed. "I thought you'd be happy to sea me again. You always were before." Then she laughs at you, and you can hear the mockery in it.

"I'm not happy to see you, Fef, on account a you've gone completely outta your mind." You stare at the wall as if it were the most interesting thing in the world. "An I'd appreciate it much if you'd just swim back from where you came from."

"Where _we_ came from," she reminds you. As if you didn't know, as if you didn't miss your warm ocean every day. "I didn't come to hurt you, honest! I just wanted to remind you of something you keep forgetting, lately."

"And what's that?" you ask, clenching your fists. There's darkness in her voice where there'd once been light. Darkness, and madness, and spite. You don't know what it is you're feeling - you don't know whether you'd rather flee from her or fight her, whether you'd rather strike her or kiss her. Something in her - something in her voice - speaks to the darkest and most deeply hidden part of you; you are repulsed by what she's become, and yet some darkness in you draws you to her. That was why you ran - not because you no longer wanted her, but because you wanted her too much. 

You hear her move, no doubt moving to all fours, crawling towards you. "You keep forgetting," she says, "that you're _mine._ You don't belong in this dry place - you belong to the oceans. You belong with _me._ "

"No, I don't," he says. "Not with anyfin like what you've become -"

She's behind you now, very close behind you. "Look me in the eyes and say it!" she demands. "Then maybe I'll believe you. That's fair, isn't it?"

You shouldn't. It would end in disaster. But if it would make her leave... "Fine," you say, and slowly turn around.

She hasn't changed much, still in the same brightly-colored dresses as before. And there's nothing new and strange about Fef's beautiful tyrian eyes, or her sweet face - except that her bright smile has become a horrible toothful grimace, and in her long dark hair you see the suggestions of horror. Long, tangled tentacles like the face of her servant, reaching around you to twist the life from you, to draw away your sanity -

_She stared into the face of a horror to spite you, and in doing so, became a horror herself._

You break your last promise and scream.

\---

Oh, dear. You can't let him keep screaming like that, can you? There might be someone around who might care that he's spoiling their evening.

So you pounce at him, take his face between your hands, and kiss him, silencing his screams with your tongue, nipping at his mouth when he tries to pull away. You think you taste blood, rich and dark and cold, and you lap it up and go back for more. You squeeze him and scratch him and push him against the wall until he pushes back, until he's kissing you and trying to hurt you just as much as you want to hurt him, and it's glorious, just glorious.

"How does it feel," you demand of him, between desperate kisses, "to finally get what you want?" 

"I don't," he starts to protest, but you don't like it when he lies, so you kiss him again. 

He's shifting now. His clothes are ripping as they're displaced by his massive purple tail, and you're happy to help them along! Of course your skirts aren't nearly so inconvenient for this sort of thing, but he still tugs up on them, pulling them out of the way - and then you're tangled up around each other, and he's gasping with anger and pleasure at the same time. 

There's nothing left to do, then, you think. You smile and bring it all to the surface - the darkness and terror that you saw when you stared into the seahorror's eyes, the unknowing and uncaring power, the utter incomprehensibility of it all - and you push it out, and let it engulf you both whole. The comprehension of time fades into madness.

It's all so _exciting!_

\---

You drift back to yourself after what seems like a long time, and open your eyes to see the shredded remnants of her skirt laying on the floor beside you. A souvenir from your horrorgirl Feferi, no doubt, just in case you might tell yourself that it was a dream.

You barely remember what happened. There was darkness and joy, terror and ecstasy, all tumbled together into some kind of horrible and painful game that you don't want to stop playing. 

She knew where you were all along, didn't she? Of course she did, you realize. Hiding, always being afraid she was standing behind your shoulder, hating this place and everyone in it, that was all her opening gambit, and this was her first real move. Oh, Fef, you think. You could've said many things about her, but stupid was never one of them, and you're not going to start now. 

You rub your neck, feel a sharp pain - she's marked you, probably in more ways than one. It's funny, but in a strange way, you're relieved. She's found you, which means that now you don't have to worry about her finding you. Apparently it's true that things really do seem brighter after the worst has already happened.

You might as well go home now. If this is how things are going to be then you might at least stay comfortable doing it.


End file.
